The other night Big H demanded yet another story to prolong the inevitable bedtime. I gave in and started to read his proffered book - the Disney version of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs from a Disney Storybook Collection he received as a gift. I started reading with trepidation. It's been awhile since I've seen the Disney movie, but I was pretty sure I remembered something about Snow White cooking, cleaning and keeping house for seven little men. Not really something I want to pass on to my sons. But hey, I figured since Big H can't read yet, I could just change the story a bit. Well, I made it about half a page into the story:
Once upon a time, there lived a lovely princess named Snow White. Her lips were red as roses and her hair was the deepest ebony. Snow White's father, the King, had died, so she lived in the castle with her stepmother, the Queen.She dreamed that a prince would take her away??? Yeah, that wasn't going to do it for me. So I tossed the book aside and gave Big H my own very abbreviated version of the fairy tale:
The Queen was very pretty, but also very cruel. She was jealous of Snow White's beauty and treated her like a servant.
Snow White was obedient and hard working. She dreamed that someday a prince would take her away.
"Yeah, that's not how it works these days, sweetie. Yes, Snow White was stuck with an evil, vain caretaker who tried to swindle her out of her inheritance, treated her like a slave, and tried to have her killed. But in actuality, Snow White didn't go off to cook and clean for a house full of men. She went to see the law firm of Doc, Happy, Sneezy, and Partners, LLC. Mr. Grumpy, DHS&P's best litigator, helped Snow White bring a civil RICO action against the evil Queen, by showing that the Queen had been using an enterprise (the Kingdom) to conduct a pattern of racketeering activity (such as kidnapping and murder) indictable under federal law. Snow White recovered her fortune and the Queen was brought up on federal charges, including some nasty allegations of involuntary servitude. Unfortunately, there was some question as to the Queen's sanity because she kept talking to this mirror and claimed she was getting answers. In any event, the Queen spent the rest of her life in a very comfortable community based mental health facility. Snow White then went on to abolish and dismantle the monarchy and
Oh, what's that? You asked about the Prince? Well, he lived off his father's money, went clubbing all over the world, became a one hit pop idol, then a reality TV star, and went on to marry Paris Hilton. Snow White lived happily ever after.
So, how does your fairy tale end? Write me a modern day fairy tale (nothing overly long required). Let me know in the comments & I'll post all the links.