Sir Hollis, Squire Holden and the Quest for the Holy Baseball Cap
The N----- household, June 25, 2008, 7:45pm.
The scene opens as Hollis a knight in jammies armor and red velvet cloak gallops up on his trusty cat scratching post steed.
With plastic screwdriver sword drawn and blue blankie banner flying, he comes to a halt before the couch royal throne.
Knight: I am Sir Hollis, here to protect you.
Me: To protect me, Sir Hollis? Who am I?
Sir Hollis: You are KING MOMMY!
Sir Hollis hands King Mommy an Elmo hammer scepter.
T: If she's King Mommy, then who am I?
Sir Hollis: You are a hobgoblin!
Hobgoblin: Where do I live?
Sir Hollis: In a tree with the rest of the hobgoblins.
King Mommy: But wait. I need a crown. If I'm going to be King Mommy, I'll need a crown.
Sir Hollis snatches the baseball cap off of T's the hobgoblin's head and places it on King Mommy's head.
Holden A squire pulls up on his red Lego cart strawberry roan.
Sir Hollis: King Mommy has a crown!
Sir Hollis & Squire Holden: Yeah!!!!!
(And there was much rejoicing.)
Sir Hollis: Now hobgoblin, go away! Go back to your tree.
Hobgoblin (muttering): Jeez, thanks.
Hobgoblin exits to the kitchen Hobgoblin Tree, removing his baseball cap crown from King Mommy's head along the way.
Squire Holden: King Mommy's crown!
Sir Hollis (to Squire Holden): The hobgoblin stole the crown. Let's go get it! Wait! I need a new horse. Hilly! (Our 12 year old cat.)
Sir Hollis (cupping his hand around his mouth): Oh, CatHorse! Oh, CaaaaaaaatHorse!
From behind the love seat hedge comes the sound of yowling and a "Stay still, Hilly!" Sir Hollis emerges with a scratch on his hand and no new horse.
Sir Hollis and Squire Holden gallop off towards the kitchen Hobgoblin Tree.
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The scene opens with the Hobgoblin standing at the sink washing dishes. (And a very enlightened Hobgoblin he is.) Sir Hollis and Squire Holden arrive, galloping into the kitchen at high speed.
Squire Holden: Mommy's crown! Give it back!
Sir Hollis: Bad, Hobgoblin! Give us back King Mommy's crown!
Scuffling ensues and Squire Holden and Sir Hollis emerge triumphant.
*****************
Back at the royal throne, Sir Hollis places King Mommy's crown upon her head once again.
King Mommy: I have a gift for you as a token of gratitude for your service and bravery.
King Mommy hands over a sippy cup to Sir Hollis and one to Sir Holden.
Sir Hollis & Sir Holden: Thank you, King Mommy. Yeah!!!!
(And there was much rejoicing.)
Sir Hollis gets a mischievous look in his eye and snatches the crown from King Mommy's head and puts it on his own.
King Mommy: Whyest doth thou betray me, Sir Hollis?
Sir Hollis: It's my crown now!
Sir Hollis giggles lets out an evil laugh, and gallops off to the kitchen Hobgoblin Tree.
King Mommy: Squire Holden! Will you rescue the crown from evil Sir Hollis?
Squire Holden's eyes light up and he begins to nod vigorously.
Squire Holden: Yes, King Mommy! I'll get your crown back!
Squire Holden gallops off after Sir Hollis.
In the distance we hear plastic tools swords clashing and Sir Holden yelling, "Give it back to Mommy!"
Squire Holden returns triumphantly holding the royal crown aloft and places it on King Mommy's head.
King Mommy: Oh, brave Squire Holden, you have earned your knighthood. You shall henceforth be known as Sir Holden.
King Mommy & Sir Holden: Yeah!!!!
(And there was much rejoicing.)
Sir Hollis comes galloping back with the Hobgoblin close behind.
Sir Hollis: King Mommy!
Sir Holden: King Mommy!
Hobgoblin: King Mommy!
Then Sir Hollis and Sir Holden climbed up onto the royal throne and snuggled into King Mommy's lap. The Hobgoblin sat beside them and wrapped his arms around his royal family.
(And there was much rejoicing.)
The End.
It's good to be the King.
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