I've never been an indecisive sort of girl. I set goals and determine my direction quickly. Once I've made up my mind, I plot my path methodically and pursue it relentlessly.
When I realized I would not, could not, become a psychologist, it didn't take me long to assess my strengths and decide on a new career to pursue. Whether it be a career or making a family, I've always been able to determine my next course quickly and to see the path ahead with clarity.
I've mentioned before that changes are afoot at the Circle K. The new photography business is part of it, but it's not the whole story. I've decided on the change that needs to happen. The problem is, I can't see 5 feet in front of me because of all the smoke.
For weeks now, smoke from some large forest fires in North Carolina and in Virginia in the Great Dismal Swamp have been smothering Southeast Virginia. Now, being a swamp you wouldn't think there would be much of a problem with fires raging out of control. Apparently swamp fires are nasty though, they burn underground in the peat, making them nearly impossible to control. The only benefits of the constant charred smell are the beautiful sunsets caused by the smoke swirling through the sky and masking the sun.
When I go to bed at night, the smell of smoke lingers in the sheets, penetrating my dreams. When I am awake, the smoke presses around me, burning my lungs and stinging my eyes. I'm in limbo. I know that I can't stay as I am, but it's so hard to walk blindly ahead with the acrid mist cloaking my vision and clouding my mind. Sometimes it's hard to even draw a deep breath without choking.
So, for now, I try to ignore the smoke and pretend that what lies beyond the cloudy gray is nothing special. I enjoy my boys and my husband. We go to the beach, make up games, play with the hose, and read many, many books. As we play, and snuggle, and enjoy life, the sun burns through the ever present smoke, a captivating orange orb in swirls of pink and purple and orange. I can't help but look and admire the display despite my intention to ignore.
Relief seems to be on the way with respect to the Great Dismal Swamp fire. The fire is 90% under control. The North Carolina fire, however, is expected to smolder for months.
I'll keep you updated.
In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy my family and the stunning sunsets.