Lawyer Mama

Ask Me Anything

I'm obsessed with these anonymous questions from Formspring. I'm going to put this in the sidebar when I get home from New Orleans. In the meantime, ask away!

Unfortunate Preschool Craft Projects

Every week in school, Hollis's class learns a new letter.  They also do craft projects featuring that letter. Usually they're adorable: a big red apple, balloons they've decorated, you get the idea.  But last week?  Last week was ... unfortunate.

This  blog is brought to you by the letter K:

MOMocrats = Genius

Procrastinating today, I found this website that will tell you the reading level of your blog.  I saw it over at Vivian's blog, The Liberal Life of a Navy Wife.  Her blog is college level.  And I?  Am an intellectual snob.  So, of course, I had to punch in Lawyer Mama.

Oy.  This is poetic justice in action, I guess.

TV Reviews

Well, I do have a fondness for potty humor. Maybe that explains it.

So then I tried out MOMocrats.  You know, those fantastic ladies who let me spout off about politics and gush over Glenn Nye?  I knew there was a reason I loved them all so much!

Movie Reviews

So does this mean that I'm a genius by association? Or does it just reveal the poor judgment of the founding sisters who let me in?  Wait.  Don't answer that!

Oh & I have an actual semi-substantive post up on MOMocrats.  I'm waxing on about Glenn Nye again, only this time it's Congressman-elect Glenn Nye!

Typepad Mobile for Treo

I'm just testing out the Typepad mobile software I installed on my Treo. It took 2 minutes to download, set up & take that photo of part of my laptop screen. Cool!

Strange Coincidence

I have a new review up for Hanes Comfort-Fit underwear for kids on Lawyer Mama Reviews.  I know you're just dying to hear about my little nudist (Hollis) and whether he actually kept the underwear on!

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I also have a new post up on D.C. Metro Moms, detailing the rules of the world according to Holden, my two year old.  He's quite a dictatorial ruler.

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The strangest thing just happened to me as I was pulling up Typepad to write a new post.

My cell phone rang and I answered it without checking the number.  The woman's voice on the other end said "This is your Aunt Lisa!  Ryan wanted me to call and let you know that Peyton Matthew was born 33 minutes ago.  He was 7 pounds and 5 ounces!"

My cousin Ryan is in the Air Force and currently stationed in the Azores, where he's living with his wife.  I found out they were expecting their first child at my grandmother's funeral in March.  It actually helped a bit, knowing that my grandmother had heard the news before she died.

I was so excited for Lisa and congratulated her and asked how she was doing and if she was excited about being a grandmother.  We chatted for awhile and she sounded a bit hoarse, as if she'd been screaming all day.  I asked her if she'd been sick and she said "No" and sounded a bit puzzled.  Then I asked her if Ryan was back from the Azores for the birth or if he would be back in the U.S. soon.

Puzzled silence.

Then Lisa asked, "Why would he be where?  What is Azores?"  "Hold it.  Who is this?"

Me: "Umm...this is Stephanie.  Is this Lisa L___?"

Lisa: "No. You aren't my niece, Shannon. I must have dialed a wrong number!"

Then we laughed at the incredible coincidence that this "Lisa" called me, with a phone number ending in a 2 instead of a 6, and a cousin named Ryan expecting a baby very soon.

I congratulated her again on her new grandchild, and she congratulated me for my new cousin-to-be, and we hung up with smiles in our voices.  I could hear someone howling with laughter in the background.  It just reminded me how much we all have in common on this third rock from the sun.  Despite differences in background, politics, or culture, the human experience is universal.  The joy we feel in new life always amazes.

Mmmmm....Spam!

I use Gmail for my Lawyer Mama and blog related email. I can usually automatically visually screen out the random, content related ads that appear all over the damn page, but a few just pop out at me.

Whenever I clean out my spam box, I get links to Spam recipes up at the top of the page. Gingered Spam, Spam Quiche, Spam Breakfast Burritos, and Vineyard Spam Salad are all recipes links that have appeared on my Gmail account over the last few days. I can't stand Spam, but now I'm on the hunt for the most unlikely Spam recipe. Hell, the gingered Spam actually sounds yummy. Except for, you know, the whole Spam part.

Occasionally, other ads will catch my eye as well. Then I wonder what the Google Gods are trying to tell me:

Angry, Violent Child?
Trusted behavior modification program can help. Free trial.
www.TheTotalTransformation.com

Conservatives Speak Up
The Silent Majority Now Has A Voice Join Us To Support Progress!
www.citizensforgrowth.org
(I think the software needs a little tweaking....)

NY Eyelid Surgery
Preserving Ethnic Identity Through Cosmetic Surgery. 2 NYC Locations!
www.AsianSurgery.com

Funny-Offensive T Shirts
Buy 2 & Get One Free. Custom Made T Shirts Just for You. Order Today.
www.DeathRowTshirts.com

And my personal favorite:

The Newest Colon Cleanse
What is known. What is unknown. Real cleansing photos. You decide.
blessedherbs.com/colon-cleansing

I'll leave you with this:


(I don't know what's up with the subtitles.)

Lawyer Mama Redecorates

Please let me know if anything in the 3 column layout looks wonky. There was a problem if you were viewing this page in IE, but I think I've fixed it. But please let me know if you still see any formatting problems. Thanks!

Forgive me for not following through on my promised Mother of All Memes post. I know you're just dying from anticipation but I spent the last two days messing with my template. I'm insanely proud of myself for figuring out how to make my old template into a three column template.

Yep, that's my old pink Zoot template. I just changed the color scheme, Photo Shopped a new banner and footer, and redesigned the template from two columns to three columns. Easy peasy.

Baaaaaaaahaaaaaaa!

Clearly, I know just enough html to be dangerous. I love the three column layout though. I feel like I have more room to breathe, stretch my legs out and hog the comforter.

I'm not sure about the blue color scheme though. I kind of liked my pink. Let me know what you think.

Folks, if you're thinking of making a design switch like this, hire someone. Dear lord, PLEASE hire someone! That's 10 hours of my life that I'll never get back....

A Morality Tale - Part II

Thanks to everyone who gave their thought provoking and insightful comments on my last post. If you need to, go back and read the Sad Saga of Stephan and Nicole for a little review and be sure to read the comments to see what people thought. You can also check out Sarcasta-Mom to see what she wrote on her blog.

I know that you're all wondering about my take on Stephan, Nicole, et al. So without further ado, here's my ranking:

1. Earnest: He's an ass. Sometimes there is nothing worse than a person who turns a blind eye and pretends not to see the world. But legally speaking, he did nothing wrong. I'm sorry, but I can't turn the lawyer switch off sometimes. Earnest is a butt head, but we can't hold him responsible for what he did not do. Of course, if he were a police officer or something like that, I'd throw his ass under the jail.


2. Donald: Physical violence is never the answer, but his motives were pure. During our CLE discussion, someone pointed out to me that Donald is the only one here who has technically broken the law. I hear you. Maybe at one time I could never have seen the justification for violence, but having children has made me a little more irrational.
   


3. Nicole: Nicole, you ignorant slut! Seriously, I don't think she's a slut. Her motives, again, were pure, but in her impatience she ruined her relationship. Plus, she gave Robert power over her by giving in to his coercion. I hate that.
   


4. Stephan: How I view Nicole affects, in part, how I view Stephan. If I take the fact pattern at its face, Nicole had 2 choices: sleep with Robert or forever be parted from Stephan. She was coerced into sex, which frankly I view as one step above rape, and Stephan punishes her for it. Neither of them is blameless, but Stephan loses points for failing to get over himself.
   
   
5. Robert: Scuz bucket. I view his coercion of Nicole as little more than rape. There's a special place in hell reserved for those who take advantage of others.

For shits and giggles, I asked my husband to rank the characters too. I think T. and I share similar values and a similar way of thinking, so I wanted to see if his gender might come into play here. Here's what T. had to say:

1. Donald: He only helped after the fact
   
   
2. Earnest: Would not help a friend
   
   
3. Stephan: Not forgiving
   
   
4. Robert: Just a low life
   
   
5. Nicole: Compromised her principles
   
   

When my firm discussed this with Professor Moliterno, he asked us to pair off with someone who had dissimilar rankings and attempt to convince our partner to change their rankings. As you can imagine, in a roomful of 30 stubborn attorneys, only 1 person changed her mind in any significant way. Once decisions are made and values assigned, those judgments rarely waver.

What was revealing about the CLE discussion and the discussion in the comments, are the rationales that people use to justify their decisions. We all seem to focus on one of two things: (1) the morality of the act of each character or (2) the motivation behind the action. I, despite my claims to rationality, tended to focus on the motivating factors behind each action.

Another interesting twist would be to see if your answers differ if we switch around the genders.

Let's say Nick is trying to get across the river to Stephanie. He sees Roberta with a boat and asks for help. Roberta offers a lift in exchange for sex and Nick declines. Nick sees Earnest with a boat and asks for help. Earnest refuses to get involved. Nick sleeps with Roberta, gets across the river and Stephanie tells him to take a hike. Nick tells his friend Donna what happened and she beats the crap out of Stephanie.

Do your answers change?

A Morality Tale

Earlier this week my law firm had a Continuing Legal Education and Ethics class taught by James E. Moliterno, a professor of law at William & Mary. Prof. Moliterno used an interesting hypothetical to start off our discussion and to segue into our "Ethics in Negotiation" discussion - the purpose for the CLE. The resulting discussion of the hypothetical* was so interesting that I asked Professor Moliterno if I could share it here on my blog for discussion.

The Sad Saga of Nicole and Stephan:

Nicole and Stephan are very much in love. They want to be married and stay together for all of their lives. Unfortunately, they are separated by a deep, swift flowing river, in which there are alligators, and neither is a good swimmer.

Nicole sees Robert standing next to his boat on her side of the river. She goes to Robert and asks him to take her across the river so that she can be with Stephan. Robert replies that he will do so only if she sleeps with him. Desiring to remain faithful to Stephan, Nicole refuses.

Looking around, she sees Stephan's friend Earnest nearby, and goes to ask him for help to get to Stephan. She tells Earnest the situation, but he turns and walks away saying that he is too busy to become involved.

Still wanting to get across the river to be with Stephan, Nicole returns to Robert and pleads with him to take her across the river, but he stands firm. Finally Nicole relents and sleeps with Robert, who then takes her safely across the river to Stephan.

Nicole then relates the story to Stephan. When Stephan learns what has happened, he tells Nicole that she has prostituted herself, and he wants nothing more to do with her; and he walks away.

Nicole is brokenhearted. As she is walking home reflecting on her experience, she meets her friend Donald. He asks her what is wrong, and she tells him the whole story. Donald is incensed. He finds Stephan and beats him up.

THE END.

The Characters:

Nicole
Stephan
Robert
Earnest
Donald

Now here's what I'd like all of you to do: Take a few minutes and rank each of the 5 characters from the "best" to the "worst," with 1 being the best and 5 being the worst. Do this before you look at the comments. Tell me your rankings in the comments and why you made the decisions you did. Were any of the rankings more difficult for you? Why?

Discuss.

Feel free to tell me your ranking and rationale on your own blogs and leave me a link in the comments if you'd like. I'll add your links to my next post where I tell you my rankings and some thoughts about the discussion process.

This should be entertaining! Yes, I'm a geek.

*The Sad Saga of Nicole and Stephan was originally written by Anina Klein, MSW, with editorial support from Alan M. Lerner.

Now I've Seen Everything

There are 2 half naked women from PETA protesting the hot dog stand outside my office window. They're giving away free veggie dogs. The veggie dogs looked pretty good, but I don't think that's why the line is so long....