Lawyer Mama

Hear My Story: Health Care Stories from Mothers

I'm incredibly lucky.  I've never had to worry about health care.  You see, I was born into a military family and CHAMPUS, and then TRICARE, covered me until the day I got married.  (Note to naysayers of "government run" health care: TRICARE covers all active duty military families.) 

Then I was on my husband's employer paid health insurance through law school and up until I started working full time as a lawyer.  As you may imagine, working for a law firm provides excellent benefits.  In fact, my first law firm covered 100% of my health insurance premium and a very large percentage of my husband's and then Hollis's premiums.

When we moved down to Southeast Virginia and I left my law firm with the fabulous benefits, we switched to T's plan offered through his company.  It was basically the same plan offered by my new law firm, but we were required to pay less of the premium.  So, we had a lot of choices.  Either way, we always knew that our family would be covered.

When I was pregnant with Hollis I developed gestational diabetes.  I had a high risk pregnancy and many complications, one of which resulted in twice weekly ultrasounds, constant biophysical profiles at the hospital and an emergency c-section on a day I certainly wasn't planning to have a baby.  The bills for my pregnancy, surgery and our hospital stay easily topped $70,000.  With Holden, we went through the same routine but the high risk care and constant monitoring started even earlier because we already knew what was going to happen.  So with Holden, I probably easily racked up $80,000 in bills. 

Out of the $150,000 or so in pre-natal and hospital care I received, we paid maybe $1000.  And I'm erring on the high side in my estimate.  Feel free to hate me, but I know how lucky I am.  Never once did I have to worry about how I would pay for my medical care.  Never once did I have to choose between paying my mortgage or paying for the ultrasounds that ensured my babies were healthy while housed in my flawed, diabetic body.

When I read stories like Sophie's, I realize just how lucky I am.  I never had to worry about a choice between healthy children and bankruptcy, or owning a home, or buying groceries. Those are choices a mother should simply never have to make.

In response to all of this, MOMocrats is running a series called "Hear My Story."  With this series, we'll be highlighting the stories of mothers, real people like all of us, and their experiences with our current health care system: mothers like Natalie, who has fought tooth and nail and given up career advancements to ensure that her daughter can remain insured; mothers like Karoli, who lives in fear that her husband has undiagnosed heart disease that they simply can't afford to have diagnosed; mothers like Sheila, who have discovered that something as simple as an ear infection can render us "uninsurable;" mothers like Jennic, who have survived cancer only to discover that insurance companies won't touch her with a 10 foot pole.

If you'd like to participate, grab the button code below and share your story.  We'll be collecting your stories and hand delivering them to key elected officials in Washington, D.C. 

Our goal is to make Congress listen, without screams and angry signs, but with the words of the mothers of this nation who are worried about keeping their families healthy.  We're doing this, not just for our children, but for every child and every mother in America. No mother should ever worry about whether she can afford to keep her children healthy. No mother should ever have to choose between bankruptcy and adequate health care.

<a href="http://momocrats.typepad.com/momocrats/"><img src="http://momocrats.typepad.com/hear.jpg/"> </a>

As an added bonus, I'm one of the lucky 1% or so of gestational diabetics who become full fledged diabetics during pregnancy.  It's the gift that keeps on giving.  While it's great for guilt tripping the kids when they get a little older, it's a little terrifying to think of what could happen. I'm now self-employed. If my husband loses his job or his health insurance, no insurance company will touch me with a 10 foot pole.  I am completely uninsurable under an individual policy.

So, yes, I have to say again that I am incredibly lucky.  But I don't think that "luck" is the basis for good public policy.  Our families deserve more.

Go Beyond Tribute for Veterans

When I attended the inauguration earlier this year, I met some amazing people.  One of those was a man named Paul Schneeberger.  Paul had become involved in military and veterans issues after interviewing some Gold Star Mothers for a film project.  (A Gold Star Mother is a mother who has lost a child in battle.)  And so, without any personal connection to the military or its families, Paul took up our cause.

Paul and I spent a great deal of time talking about the disconnect between the American public and our military.  There is no longer a shared sense of service or responsibility when it comes to the defense of our country.  There really hasn't been since the memories of World War II began to fade.  Now, only one percent of our nation is at war.  The rest of us were told to go shopping.

The problem is that while we were shopping, military families were becoming stretched to their very limit by multiple deployments, injuries, and other unseen wounds like PTSD and TBI (traumatic brain injury).  While the current administration is doing its best to increase funding for the VA, personnel and military families, we're in a recession and a big one at that.

I don't think most of the American public truly understands what the long term costs of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan will be.  With each deployment, a soldier's chance of serious problems with PTSD greatly increase.  We're also seeing brain injuries that the current military and VA medical systems simply aren't equipped to handle.

Yes, many people slap yellow ribbons on their cars and wave flags and say they support the troops.  But they don't really know.

Well, it's time that we as a country begin to know, begin to understand and begin to share some responsibility.  I'm not suggesting that everyone run out and join the military or that we re-institute the draft.  But I am saying that we all need to pay attention to what's happening to our military and to give something back.

I've never met a service member who wasn't proud to serve.  Regardless of political belief or beliefs about the war, service members are patriots.  They've volunteered their service and their lives to our country.  They, and their families, cherish public service in much the same way those who work for nonprofits or join the Peace Corps do.  We shouldn't forget that.

So, while Paul and I were discussing what's happened in this country, where Memorial Day and Veterans Day have become more about sales and shopping than tribute, I volunteered my services.  And so I became a new media consultant for Beyond Tribute.  I fully intended to do it for free; that is how strongly I feel about what Beyond Tribute is doing.  But they decided to pay me and I've never been one to turn down a paycheck!  (I'm revealing the payment issue in the interests of full disclosure.)

I've mentioned Beyond Tribute on this blog before, but now that the movement is launching this Memorial Day weekend, I can share some more.  This moving email about Beyond Tribute is circulating the internet right now and I wanted to share it with everyone. Particularly since it involves Blue Star Families member Pamela Stokes Eggleston and her husband Charles.

Beyond Tribute is a 501(c)(3) organization dedicated to making Memorial Day and Veterans Day about more than just shopping. It's about teaching Americans to see the days for what they are and to give back to the community, even if shopping is involved.

From: Sgt. Charles Eggleston (Ret.) and Pamela Stokes Eggleston
Subject: Go Beyond Tribute for Veterans

Each Memorial Day and Veterans Day, many of us take time to recognize the sacrifices of those men and women who have served in uniform. But around the country, these solemn holidays often end up meaning little more than a chance to buy things on sale. As a veteran injured in the war in Iraq, I find this so disheartening, as does my family.

Our Story

Charles:

I recently retired from the U.S. Army. I was an active Army soldier, served two tours in Iraq, and was a Warrior in Transition (WIT) at the Walter Reed Army Medical Center (WRAMC), where I’ve received treatment for the past three years. I received several duty related injuries during both tours in Iraq, most recently in Mosul, Iraq in 2005. I am a Purple Heart and Bronze Star recipient. The other six soldiers in my unit didn’t make it; and I know just how blessed I am to be here today.

Pamela:

During Charles’ tours, I gained weight and I couldn’t sleep. Although I tried to stay busy working, caring for the house and gardening, I constantly worried about Charles. Unfortunately, the U.S. Army did not have a comprehensive outreach program in place to help me or to reach out to the thousands of spouses, families, and friends left behind to deal with long deployments. When my husband returned to Iraq from his R&R (rest and relaxation), I felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest.

Shortly after Charles returned to Iraq, he was hit by an IED (Improvised Explosive Device) blast. Charles suffered from PTSD and had a mild to moderate TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury). I quickly became Charles’ caregiver. I didn’t have any experience with these invisible wounds of war and had no support from the Army. I quickly learned what I needed to know through the internet and in searching out other military families to get us through the tough times.

Due to the trials and tribulations that Walter Reed put my husband through, he has become an advocate for his fellow soldiers, utilizing his time, listening to the call of his heart, and fostering his strong desire to help his wounded comrades in any way possible. We had to fight for so much during Charles’ three-year tenure at Walter Reed, including the right to be respected and the right to receive fair and adequate medical ratings and benefits. I became an unwitting advocate for my husband, writing numerous letters to Congressmen and Senators. We helped bring the many problems at Walter Reed to light.

Charles:

Pamela and I are now both advocates for the military and its families. It galls us that stores treat the military as simply an advertising hook to get people into stores for Memorial Day sales. It’s time for those stores to give something back to the military.

There are many veterans and military organizations that are truly vested in helping military families and veterans. Organizations like the Wounded Warriors Project and other veterans service organizations are vital to filling the gaps in caring for soldiers and their families, particularly when a soldier returns wounded and cannot work for extended periods of time. The burden for this, and many of our military families, is unfair and unjust. This is where Beyond Tribute can help.

Beyond Tribute

Pamela and I recently became involved with a non-partisan, non-profit group called Beyond Tribute that’s mobilizing people around Memorial Day to convince stores to donate a portion of their holiday weekend proceeds to medical treatment for veterans. By Veterans Day, we hope to be able to raise significant money for veterans in need from the very businesses that usually capitalize on these solemn holidays.

But before businesses will sign on, they need to see that people are committed to truly honoring former service members. Sign the Memorial Day pledge to shop at Beyond Tribute businesses today and together we can do a lot of good for some people who really need it, starting with this Memorial Day:

http://BeyondTribute.org

As an active duty soldier, I believed in my service. I was doing the right thing, regardless of political maneuvering back home. I was serving my fellow soldiers. I was serving America. I was trying to make a difference. By signing the pledge to shop at Beyond Tribute businesses on weekends honoring veterans, you’re doing more than committing to making a difference. You’re also showing businesses that their customers will reward them if they do the right thing. Sign the pledge now:

http://BeyondTribute.org

Anyone who has served, or has a loved one who’s served, knows how important this help is. That’s why people like Walter Cronkite, General Wesley Clark, philanthropist Jerome Kohlberg, and Kim Cattrall (Sex and the City’s Samantha) have joined Beyond Tribute with me and Pamela and pledged to do their shopping at participating businesses, too. Join us in signing the pledge to do your Veterans Day shopping at Beyond Tribute businesses. Then ask your friends and family to do it, too:

http://BeyondTribute.org

The troops we honor are real people, many of whom have very real injuries. This is something we can all do that will really help them.

Thank you for your support,

Charles and Pamela Eggleston

PLEDGE TO GO BEYOND TRIBUTE FOR VETERANS: Memorial Day and Veterans Day should be about more than honoring veterans, they should be about helping those who have sacrificed their health and well-being in the line of duty. I pledge to support services for veterans suffering wounds of war by shopping at Beyond Tribute businesses over Veterans Day weekend.

Would Women Rather Have Equal Pay or a Prayer Caucus? Hmmm....

Please welcome Progressive Gal, a dear friend of mine who blogs at The Liberal Life of a Navy Wife. She's been my political partner in crime since she cyber-stalked me and we met for the first time in July of 2008.

Although you probably wouldn't know this from reading my political posts at MOMocrats, Glenn Nye is not really my congressman.  My actual congressman, Randy Forbes, is a right wing Republican.  He was also running against a Democratic candidate in 2008 who didn't have a bat's chance in hell or two nickels to rub together.  So PG and I threw our efforts into the congressional race in the 2nd District between Thelma Drake and Glenn Nye.  Sometimes we like to pretend that we live in his district but, alas, we do not.

When PG wrote our actual congressman about his vote regarding the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, he wrote back an email that pissed us both off. We had to reply, and so we wrote this response together. 

Snark by PG, wonk by me.

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With the passage of the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act by both the House and Senate, we wanted to take the time to share the rationale of one Congressman who voted against it. Congressman Randy Forbes (R-Va.) is one of the 171 Congressmen who voted against equal pay for women. Here is an excerpt from his (or apparently a less able staffer's) lackluster rationale to defend his vote against women along with our critique of his arguments. The short version is: I really care about fair pay, really I do. I just don't want to take any measures that actually ensure any regulation. You'll just clog up the court system when they need to be concentrating on other things like ensuring my rights to use taxpayers' time and money to host Congressional Prayer Caucuses. It's all about family values, dontcha know?

Here is his response:

The House of Representatives passed H.R. 11, the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, by a vote of 247 - 171 without my support. This bill would allow employees to file charges of alleged employment discrimination within 180 days of the last paycheck received that is affected by alleged discrimination. By permitting such claims to be brought within 180 days - not of a discriminatory pay decision, but of a paycheck affected by that decision - the measure would effectively eliminate the statute of limitations on such cases. While this bill's stated intention was to improve pay equity, this ill-advised provision would almost certainly encourage the filing of claims that are not timely, and thus add to the already considerable burden on the courts. There is no evidence to suggest that the current statute of limitations has resulted in any demonstrable prejudice against claims by employees for pay discrimination.

Well, Congressman Forbes, let's talk about your "problems" with the bill.

1. Statute of Limitations

Congressman, you state that permitting claims to be filed within 180 days of the last paycheck affected by that decision would effectively eliminate the statute of limitations. Ummm, we're not seeing how. Once an employee leaves the company, she has 180 days to file suit. Looks like a pretty clear limitation to me.

Moreover, the "statute of limitations" effectively set by the Supreme Court case the Ledbetter legislation overturns, only permits women to recover for pay discrimination in the 180 day period before they file an EEOC complaint, no matter how long the discrimination has occurred, how the company concealed it, or how egregious the violation. This limitation effectively nullifies the Equal Pay Act of 1963 and Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

Most people don't openly discuss their salaries, particularly when starting a new job. In fact, some company policies prohibit employees from discussing their salaries with other employees. If that's the case, no employee could ever discover that they had been discriminated against in a salary decision. The Supreme Court's decision in Ledbetter v. Goodyear, effectively places the burden on the employee to prevent the pay discrimination. This burden should be on the company not the employee. The company is the only party with all of the pay information. Placing this onus on the employee effectively permits companies to discriminate at will. Is that what you mean by wanting to "ensure that businesses are able to operate in an environment where they can grown [SIC] and thrive."

2. Overburdened Courts

You also claim that the new legislation will "encourage" untimely pay discrimination suits and increase the burden on our court system. Let's talk about what "untimely" means. If a suit is filed within 180 days of a paycheck affected by a discriminatory decision, how is that untimely? See paragraph #1 if you're still confused about why it is that employees can't jump on the lawsuit bandwagon immediately after a pay decision.  Pay discrimination often adds up in small increments over time, only become noticeable or "lawsuit worthy" after the period set by the Supreme Court in the Ledbetter case.

You are correct that the intent of the new legislation is to increase pay equity. Without this legislation, pay inequity will almost certainly continue. The easy fix for this is, of course, for companies to carefully consider the basis for their pay decisions and to ensure that inequity doesn't result from gender bias. You may find this surprising, but most companies don't change their practices unless they will suffer financially if they do not.  Therein lies the "motivation" behind much of our country's workplace legislation.

Following your line of reasoning, perhaps we should stop prosecuting claims of civil rights violations, or maybe we should let rape and murder slide. After all, our courts are awfully busy. Where do we stop? Where is the line? When exactly is it acceptable to discriminate? Congressman Forbes, I guess you have decided the line is drawn right before women get equal pay. Thanks so much. Professional women and girls across America thank you for attempting to prevent our judicial system from becoming overburdened.

3. No Evidence of Demonstrable Prejudice

Congressman, you really saved the best for last, didn't you?  You state that there has been "no demonstrable evidence" of employees prejudiced by the current statute of limitations.  Amazingly, you did this without a hint of irony given the personal moniker of the Act. Who do you think Lilly Ledbetter is, Congressman? We've read her court cases. We know that the trial court did indeed find that Ms. Ledbetter was discriminated against by Goodyear in pay decision after pay decision. The 11th Circuit and the Supreme Court decided to rewrite the statute of limitations, effectively limiting Ms. Ledbetter's recovery for 20 years of discrimination to pay decisions made in 1997 and 1998. I'd call that prejudice.

Oh, and Mr. Congressman, the fact that you responded to our initial query with an email addressed to "Mister," assuming the writer was a man, does perhaps explain your indifference to women's issues. Perhaps you also assume that the absence of a "Women's Issues" link on your website's issue page is compensated for by having a "Family Values" link. Or, maybe you just don't want to highlight your dearth of support for your women constituents and hope we'll all be satisfied by you praying for us at one of your prayer caucuses or writing letters in support of funding abstinence-only sex education.

Whatever the case, we can assure you that women can, and do, follow the issues. We also read court cases, legislation, and voting records. We also happen to campaign against those politicians we feel don't share our value systems. And, we do all this while being wives and mothers.

We know you have two years until your next election, Mr. Congressman, but this is your warning notice. You've seriously pissed off these two constituents. First with your vote and then with the thin, unsubstantiated response you provided. Perhaps you don't care about the voices of two women, but we should warn you that we have big mouths, a political network of progressive women (many of whom happen to live in your district) and the motivation to make sure you aren't in office in 2011.

Sincerely,
Progressive Gal &
Lawyer Mama

P.S. Please teach your staffers how to proofread if you want to be taken seriously.

Cross posted at MOMocrats, where Lawyer Mama joins other powerful lady bloggers in using her voice to call out politicians like Randy Forbes, and at The Liberal Life of a Navy Wife, where Progressive Gal does the same.

In case anyone is wondering, Glenn Nye voted for the Lily Ledbetter Equal Pay Act.  Yet another reason why we are his political "groupies."

A Letter to My Sons: Why I'm Voting for Barack Obama

I got the idea for this post from the beautiful and wise City Mama.  "Thanks, my dear.  If your daughters grow up to be half the woman you are they will be lucky indeed. - LM."

Dear Hollis & Holden,

Tomorrow is November 4, 2008.  That date doesn't mean much to you now, but I'm hoping that someday it will.  You'll learn the date that the United States elected the John F. Kennedy of my generation.

It's hard for me to explain to you both, at 3 and 4, just what this election means to me.  All you know right now is that Mommy hasn't been home a lot and you wish I could put you to bed more often.

You see, once upon a time I was young and idealistic.  I wanted to help people and change the world.  But then I discovered that putting yourself out there can hurt, really hurt, when you fail.  I became an arm chair activist, donating money instead of my time, and talking and writing about social justice instead of taking action.

Then I had the two of you.

You see, voting isn't just about me and who I'll get to rant about for the next four years.  Now, my vote is about your future.  I want the world you live in to be free from racism and hate.  I want our country and our leaders to take the issue of poverty seriously and to listen to the people they govern.

It's not that I won't be able to give you the world.  You two are incredibly lucky.  You were born white, to two educated, professional parents.  We may tend to hover a bit, but we'll do whatever we have to do to make sure you get the best education and the best opportunities in life.

So why do I care so much?  Because I want every other child in this country to have that as well.

When I became your mother, I became A Mother.  When I see a child without a coat on in 30 degree weather I shiver for him and look around for a coat, just like his mother would.  When I hear about a child harmed I cry the tears her mother will.  When I learn that 14,000,000 children in this country don't have health insurance, I get pissed off and I want to change that, just like those 14,000,000 mothers do.

I hope to teach both of you that we are all inextricably intertwined as human beings and Americans.  We can't turn our heads and pretend we don't see the problems of others.  I don't want you to grow up making excuses for your privilege and the poverty of others, attempting to justify a system of haves and have-nots. 

You may work hard as a soldier or lawyer or accountant, but so do our trash collectors and our teachers and yes, even our plumbers.  Yes, you will encounter people who don't work as hard as you, who can't hold a job, who have too many children and not enough money.  But I want both of you to realize that you are no more entitled to the necessities of life than they are.  You've just been very, very lucky through happy accident of birth.

Barack Obama, more than any public servant of my life time, seems to understand this and all that I want you to learn.

I didn't start out as a Barack Obama supporter.  But as I've researched his policies, spoken with his wife, his vice presidential pick, and too many surrogates to name, I've become convinced that he is the perfect man to unite our divided country.  And so, because I want to change our country, I got involved in a political campaign for the first time in my life.

It's not just me either.  There are so many mothers and fathers and grandparents and students and first time voters getting involved.  They, like me, see something in Barack Obama that is different, that stands for hope and the promise of better things to come.  I haven't seen people united in such a cause since the days after 9/11, and that ended quickly enough.  This time, I'm hopeful that people will stay involved.  I'm hopeful that people will see that they can make a difference and that they did make a difference.

I'm hopeful that people will keep getting involved and keep trying to change the world and keep fighting for justice for all the other people that inhabit this country, this world, this third rock from the sun.

In what I believe will be one of history's most remembered speeches, Barack Obama reminded us all that we have to fight not for ourselves, but for others.  He shared a story of a campaign organizer named Ashley, sharing why she'd gotten involved - because of what her mother had gone through when she got cancer and lost her insurance and her ability to support her family:

Anyway, Ashley finishes her story and then goes around the room and asks everyone else why they're supporting the campaign. They all have different stories and reasons. Many bring up a specific issue. And finally they come to this elderly black man who's been sitting there quietly the entire time. And Ashley asks him why he's there. And he does not bring up a specific issue. He does not say health care or the economy. He does not say education or the war. He does not say that he was there because of Barack Obama. He simply says to everyone in the room, "I am here because of Ashley."

"I'm here because of Ashley." By itself, that single moment of recognition between that young white girl and that old black man is not enough. It is not enough to give health care to the sick, or jobs to the jobless, or education to our children.

But it is where we start. It is where our union grows stronger. And as so many generations have come to realize over the course of the two-hundred and twenty one years since a band of patriots signed that document in Philadelphia, that is where the perfection begins.

It isn't enough for me to just feed and clothe and take care of the two of you, my boys.  It may not be enough for me to vote, knock on doors, do interviews, write articles, and make phone calls to get Barack Obama elected.  But it is where I, and so many others, start.  We're doing it for you and all the other people in this country because "that is where the perfection begins."

Yes.  Yes, we can.

Love,
Mommy

Photo by Heidi Kulberg. (That's Hollis on the right.)

Mommy Blogging and BlogHer '08

Don't worry, my peeps.  I'll write a "who went where and did what with whom" post about BlogHer eventually.  Probably a week after everyone else and no one will care anymore.  Heh.  I just have all these thoughts swirling around in my head that I need to get out there first.

Last year's BlogHer was all about connecting with other bloggers for me.  I went to most of the mommy blogging sessions, a writing session, and 1 political session.  I wasn't all that impressed.

The mommy session I enjoyed most last year was the one discussing whether Mommy Blogging was a radical act.  We covered a lot of ground, but we didn't really get into the meat of some interesting topics that came up: race, inclusion and exclusion, and using your blog platform to do something more.  Anyway, the consensus last year seemed to be that putting yourself out there with all your warts and wrinkles was a radical act.  In ripping the rose colored glasses off of motherhood, we were helping other moms and building a community of women who understood that it was OK to be less than perfect.

At the time, that was just what I needed to hear.  It helped me to admit that I had a problem.  I was depressed and I needed help.

Since I came back from my "mental health holiday" I've been a bit detached from the Momosphere.  I read the blogs of my friends in batches.  I read all of MOM-101's monthly posts one day.  Three days later I hit The Bloggess.  Two days later I read Mamma Loves or my lovely AD.  A week later I read Jess's posts and spend an hour afterward giggling to myself.  Gone are the days when I spent an hour every morning before the kids got up reading as many posts as I could in Bloglines.  Gone are the days when I went net surfing for new and fun blogs.  Hell, I'm lucky to just visit the blogs of those who comment on my blog.

The thing is, I know that Liz, Amie, Jenny, Jess, Jen, Tanis, Julie, Joanne (look at all those J's), Kyla, Bon, Sarah, Casey, Celeste, Gwen, Christine, Deb, Kari, Jenn, and all the rest of you, you know who you are, are my community.  If I need them, they will be there and I will be there for them.  Whether or not we've hung on each other's every written word for the last 3 months will be irrelevant.  We'll be there.

This year, I did not attend any of the mommy blogging sessions.  Nor did I attend the session titled "Is Mommy Blogging Still A Radical Act?"  I didn't attend because I know that I can answer that question for myself.  After 2 years of blogging, I've realized that I don't need to constantly talk about the highs and lows of parenting.  I've realized something and it's not going to be popular:

Mommy blogging is not a radical act.

Just writing about the good and the bad of being a parent is not in itself a radical act.  I'm sorry, but it's true.  It's simply not radical for me anymore.  Bad is the new good and everyone's bad in the way everyone used to be good perfect.

So just what is radical if simply writing about the bad isn't?

Stepping out from behind the anonymity of the computer and telling 1,000 women how you feel.

Writing, not just about the bad, but about hope.  Spreading that hope to others.  Writing to change yourself, or the world, or society's views, or change social policy.  Then, stepping away from your computer and doing something about it.

Acting.  Now that's radical.

This year I spent all of my time in the political sessions and I attended the lone photography session as well.  This year, I feel like I got much more out of the BlogHer sessions.  That's not to say that anyone who attended the other sessions was shallow or somehow less worthy, it's just that I've finally figured out where I belong. 

It's not necessarily with the Mommy Bloggers, where I figured I always fit best. Writing for MOMocrats this year, becoming active in politics both locally and nationally, has changed me.  It has elementally changed me.  I'll never be able to go back to being passive and uninvolved again.

I'll keep writing at Lawyer Mama.  I'll keep writing about my children and my joys and frustrations in life.  I'll keep calling this a Mommy Blog, because it is.  But writing here isn't a radical act.

I'll save my radical acts for the real world.

Dreams of a Mother

One of our fabulous MOMocrat sisters pointed us to a wonderful site this week.  On it was the Mother's Day Proclamation by Julia Ward Howe.  Julia was the founder of Mother's Day and the writer of the Battle Hymn of the Republic, but she was so much more.  She was a mother, an early feminist, abolitionist, poet, and writer.

After the Civil War, Julia had a dream, a dream of peace.  She believed that peace was the most important social cause of her time and she wrote about it tirelessly:

Arise then...women of this day!
Arise, all women who have hearts!
Whether your baptism be of water or of tears!
Say firmly:

We will not have questions answered by irrelevant agencies,
Our husbands will not come to us, reeking with carnage,
For caresses and applause.
Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn
All that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.
We, the women of one country,
Will be too tender of those of another country
To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs.

First Stanza of The Mother's Day Proclamation by Julia Ward Howe.

Julia's proclamation stands as a reminder to all of us that this Sunday is not about flowers, candy, and brunch.  It's about fighting for your beliefs, whatever they may be.  It's about political activism.  It's about standing up for justice.

The MOMocrats will each be writing about our own dreams as mothers and we encourage all of you to join us over the next week.  In true MOMocrats style, each MOMocrat will be sharing a political or social issue close to her heart.  We'd love it if you did too, but your own special non-political dreams are important as well.  We want the world to hear them.

Take the button above, write about your own Dream of a Mother and link back to MOMocrats.  Come back and comment and give us your link so we can read about your special dream.

Here's the code for your site:

<center><a href="http://momocrats.typepad.com"><img border="0" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v470/steph-trey/DreamsofaMotherButtoncopy.jpg" alt="MOMocrats: Dreams of a Mother" /></a></center>

Don't forget to link back to http://momocrats.typepad.com.  We want to hear your dream.

After the Wish by Lawyer Mama
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Speaking of social justice, the Just Post Roundtable links are up over at Jen's place, Mad's place, and Su's place.  These women work every month to bring us some of the best of the blogosphere.  I love reading the Just Posts because it reminds me that, no matter how small I feel at times, speaking out will change the world.