Law(yer Mama) Review

The Lawyer Mama Family Gets Cocky

Basically, T and I are kind of squares.  I mean, um, in the bedroom.  Don't get me wrong, we aren't stuck in the "all missionary position with 30 seconds of foreplay" rut, but we don't often bring kitchen implements, workshop tools or plastic toys into the bedroom with us.  We don't have a trapeze or a pole in our room and neither of us even owns a black leather riding crop.

After the first sex toy review I did, Eden Fantasys gave us the chance to try something else out for free.  Now, we might as well call this a sex blog and start advertising 900 numbers.

Did you notice that there was an "us" up there?  No?  Well, T and I are going to be writing these reviews together from now on.  After all, we're both using them, so why not hear about both of our experiences.

 We picked out the Vibrating C-Ring by Tantus.

I have to admit that we had a tiny bit of a difficult time figuring out how to  get the thing on, but we're two smart people and we were rather, um, motivated.  If you're not sure what a "c-ring" is or where it goes, we can give you a little help and some helpful advice.

It goes on him.  With the silver bullet up top (for you) or below (for him).  Don't try to stuff both, um..., balls in the hoop.  Enuf said.

Here's what T had to say:

While I had never seriously considered using this type of device, I am now a full believer. You should plan in advance and insure that you "install" the device well ahead of any eh....stimulation.

Once it is on, it is quite comfortable and exerts just enough pressure to provide a nice overall sensation. The vibration of the bullet is the best part of the device it provides just enough vibration to be effective, but not over do it and it is relatively quiet.

Overall a very good device I will continue to use.

T says it pretty succinctly, but yes, it was a fun little toy.  Obviously "installation" is a little more difficult for him.  I just have to show up.  But we certainly had a good time once the ride was up and running.

We'll be using this C-Ring in the future.

Lawyer Mama & Mr. Lawyer Mama (AKA "T")

The Jack Rabbit from Eden Fantasys (Yes, my Face is Bright Red!)

So I recently had the chance to review a product a bit, um, unusual for Lawyer Mama.  The wonderful blogger AAG and my gal Mamma Loves teamed up with Eden Fantasys to let some bloggers try out some of their fun products. If you're unfamiliar with Eden, the sell sex toys.  And now that those words appear on my blog, I will forever be haunted by the pervs of The Google.

(See, Mom, this is why I warned you not to click over!  Now close the browser.  Quickly!)

I got to pick the product I wanted to try and I went with a modified version of the tried and true Rabbit of Sex and the City fame: the Waterproof Jack Rabbit.

Now, I am certainly not a sex toy connoisseur.  Aside from a few props, T and I have never really felt the need to add anything mechanical to the bedroom routine. Why fix it if it isn't broken? Well, let's just say we were a little shortsighted!

The Waterproof Jack Rabbit we tried out has the famous rabbit ear shaped clitoral stimulator and a few other bells and whistles, such as a rotating shaft and 3 speed rotation and vibration.  And it will rotate in either direction.  Nifty.

Sorry to disappoint y'all, my fellow perverts, but I'm not going to give you a detailed run down of how we used it.  I will say that the material is very comfortable; it's much more fun to use with a partner unless you have gorilla arms; I'm now a big fan of rotation; and yes, it is waterproof!  The thing seems pretty sturdy, so I imagine that we'll have it for quite some time.  Hey, we may even add a few more items to our dresser drawer....

Now let's see how long it takes me to actually push the publish button on this review!  I know my former co-workers are going to be saying "You won't believe what Steph put up on her blog this time!"

They've Got Their Hanes on Hollis Now

My almost-four year old Hollis is awfully picky about his clothes and being comfortable.  When he was 18 months old he started complaining about his clothes, although half the time we couldn't figure out the problem.  As soon as he was old enough, he started demanding we cut the tags out of his clothes.  He hates scratchy socks,  tight shoes, and heaven forbid his shorts get a spot of water on them.  That requires an immediate strip down to the skin.  Well, maybe he just does that because he's in his nudist phase.  Who knows.

Anyway, when PBN gave me the chance to review some of the Hanes Comfort-Fit Underwear line, or should I say, when PBN gave Hollis the chance to review the Hanes' line, I jumped at the chance.  You see, Hanes has a Comfort Fit Promise.  The leg bands on the briefs won't ride up, the flies won't gap, and the socks will stay up and feel like new all year long.  No wedgies, no gapsies, no itchies.  So I said, "bring it on!"

Hollis received a package of the No Ride Up Briefs, the most adorable little plaid No Gap Fly Boxers and the Boy's Crew Socks.

Let's start with the socks.  They feel nice and thick, the ribs on the crew socks feel tight, but not too tight, and they seem to be well constructed.  The actually testing of the socks was a bit difficult, but let me explain.  My boys only wear socks for about 6 months of the year here.  From early May to late October, it's sandal weather here.  I can only get my kids in socks by force in July.  But I did get Hollis to try out the socks by telling him he could skate around on the hard wood floors.  He had a grand old time and told me the socks were "comfy, cozy, Mommy!"  That's a ringing sock endorsement from Hollis.

The briefs were next on the list.  Hollis normally wears briefs every day, but he will not hesitate to strip like the little nudist he is if his underwear is the slightest bit "itchy."  I was a bit worried about the briefs when we got them.  While the tag in the back is firmly attached to the back of the briefs, with no hanging tag or gap, the material where it was attached was consequently a it stiff.  I worried that Hollis would declare them itchy and strip.  All was well though.  He's kept them on with no problems.  And if Hollis keeps them on, in favor of his normal naked from the waist down mode, it's great.  That's a ringing brief endorsement from Hollis.

We tried out the boxers last.  The three pairs we received are absolutely adorable.  They're in blue and green plain, yellow and blue plaid, and a red plaid.  My little guy had never worn boxers before, so I had no idea how this would go.  Hollis loves them!  He was a bit confused at first, but I reminded him how Daddy sometimes wears boxers and he got right on board.  He was strutting around like the big boy he is and telling everyone how he had "shorts under his shorts" just like Daddy!  Plus, the boxers are tagless and nice and "comfy, cozy."  He asks to wear them to bed (we're night time potty training), so that's a ringing boxer endorsement from Hollis.

I'll definitely be buying more of the Hanes Comfort-Fit line for both of my boys.

PBN, is also having a Blog Blast on August 22, 2008, where you can win some Hanes Comfort-Fit products for your kids.  Be sure to check in with PBN the week of 8/22/08!

 

The Secret to Obtaining a Playstation 3, 1 Month Before Christmas

When the Play Station 3 came out, people were lining up outside of stores and camping over night to get one.  T and I are far too lay to do that. Plus, I'm not a big fan of camping unless I have running water and a toilet pretty close by.  I have the world's smallest bladder under the best of circumstances.  If you tell me I can't go to the bathroom unless I'm willing  to squat behind a parking lot tree planter, it's a guarantee that I'll feel the need to pee at least every hour.

Clearly waiting in line was not an option.

So, T had a brilliant idea.  It wasn't like his usual "brilliant ideas" like "wouldn't it be great if we put Cheez Whiz on top of this pork loin?"  It was truly a brilliant idea.

He started calling stores in rural areas.  He hit pay dirt at a WalMart in McCook, NE, not far from where his parents live.  They had two in stock.  They took his credit card over the phone and shipped it out the next day.

One month before Christmas, we scored the hottest item on every Christmas list, You can bet we'll be trying this again in the future!

This post is an Extreme Toy Shopping blog blast sponsored by Hasbro and PBN.

Leapfrog TAG: A Must Have

Did anyone else have kids who went through that period when they wouldn't sit still for reading a book?  I hope I'm not the only one!

When Hollis was between 1 and 2 1/2 it was really hard to get him to sit down and read with us.  We mostly ended up reading him books while he jumped around on the floor or played with other toys, only occasionally popping up to look at a picture.  Interaction?  Sure, for about 10 seconds.

Then we discovered Leapfrog.  Hollis got a Leapfrog book for Christmas when he was 14 months old and loved it.  For once, he would sit and engage for 5 minutes at a time instead of 5 seconds.  The only problem was carting our huge leap pad around.  It was great for at home or in the car, but I couldn't put it in my purse for a wait in the doctor's office.

Now, Hollis loves books and, thankfully, so does his little brother.  We never have to fight to get them to read, they look forward to it and ask for us to read their favorites.  15 times in a row if they can sucker us into it!  But still, we're always looking for great educational books that will engage our kids and teach them something.

When PBN offered me the chance to review Leapfrog's new TAG product, I "leaped" at the chance.

The new TAG is a nifty "pen" that fits nicely in a child's hand.  It employs some nifty technology I don't understand that allows the pen to "read" the book.  It works in much the same way as the bulky LeapFrog book pads did, but nothing other than the book and pen are needed.  Pretty cool, huh?

LeapFrog sent us the TAG reader and 3 books: Chicka Chicka Boom Boom (always a favorite), Kung Fu Panda, and Ozzie and Mack.  Ozzie and Mack comes with the reader.  You'll need to connect the TAG reader to your computer to upload the other books, but it takes no time at all.  The kids were reading along with the books in no time.  Not only does the TAG reader tell the story, but it can also play games and give sound effects to every character and object in the book.  I cannot tell you how much that thrilled my kids.

Aside from the reading and game playing, the TAG reader is designed to help you, the parent, follow your child's developmental path.  You see, the reader remembers your child's responses to game and quiz questions.  You can then connect the TAG reader to your computer and see where your child is on the Learning Path.

Along with the LeapFrog TAG, I had the chance to review something a little different: the Savvy Source Quiz website.  Do you see that Savvy Source Quiz, sponsored by LeapFrog, over on the Sidebar?  Go ahead and take the quiz.  In much the same way as the TAG reader, the Savvy Source Quiz page can tell you where your child is on the developmental learning path and suggest activities to help improve or reinforce skills in the areas of visual arts, language, math, science, social skills, movement, and music. 

I took the language Savvy Quiz for Hollis.  Here are his results:

   

Savvy Source then provides you with a Learning Guide, suggesting activities, books and toys geared to your child's learning level.  Savvy Source gave me 35 free activities to try with Hollis.  Some of them were downloads, some were suggestions for fun things to just help Hollis improve his letter recognition and language skills. 

I tried the "What's your middle name" activity with Hollis.  We take Gary N----- (Hollis's kitten) and give him a different middle initial each time.  Gary A. N-----.  Then we name everything we can think of that starts with the letter A.  We move on to other letters and keep the game going day by day.  It's a great game for the car and Holden gets in on the action too.

I love the Savvy Source website.  They have similar quizzes and activities in every area of learning and I'm sure I'll be consulting their site before we take any long trips or need some fun and educational activities for the weekend.  Of course, we'll be packing the LeapFrog TAG too!

Personalize Your Fruit Roll-Ups

I admit it. I give my kids sugar. I've even been known to give them refined, processed sugar, as well as the devil of all sugars, corn syrup. If you've gone into the vapors just reading those two words, then you'll want to stop reading now and go back to your daily life.

For the rest of you who, like me, can't and really don't care to control every food substance that enters your kid's mouths, keep reading. You'll love these!

You remember fruit roll-ups, right? I remember when they came out when I was a kid. They were just the coolest things ever! I had no idea they were still around, but they are and apparently are quite popular. So when PBN offered me the chance to review a new Fruit Roll Up product and website where you can design your own! It's called My Fruit Roll-Ups.

On the site, you can add text to your fruit roll-ups in different colors and fonts, as well as graphics from a very long list of choices in the My Fruit Roll-Ups Invention Center.  It took me about 5 minutes.  That's it.  5 minutes.  It's easy and simple.  And did I mention easy?

The Invention Center puts the graphics and text onto the fruit roll up in a checkerboard pattern.  You can choose a two square pattern or a 3 square pattern.  I chose a 3 square pattern and put text in 2 squares and the graphic of a crane in one.  For the text squares I chose, "H&H Wrecking" and "We Can Destroy It!"  My husband got quite a laugh out of it.  The boys, although they have no idea what it says, love the crane!

The Invention Center is easy enough to use that your reading level child can do it and design their own birthday party or play date treat.  I guarantee that the other parents will be asking you where you got them!

I tried to take a photo of the personalized fruit roll-ups when they arrived, but the thin fruit snack doesn't translate well to photos.  Instead I give you a photo of Holden enjoying it:

Holden enjoys his "H&H Wrecking" Fruit Roll-Up

Could a face like that be wrong?  Naaaaaaa!

If you'd like to try them out, I've got a code to design and order some for free!  Just go to My Fruit Roll-Ups and check out the designs.  Leave me a comment and tell me which design you would choose and next week I'll select one winner at random.  (Sorry, the code is only good in the U.S.)

Discovery Channel Store Rapido Game

I have a serious love affair with the Discovery Channel Store.  I cannot walk past one without going in.  I freak if my husband throws out their catalog.  They have the best toys.  My kids love them.  In fact I've written about Discovery Store toys before.  So when PBN offered me the chance to review one of their new games, Rapido, I jumped at the chance.

The game itself is pretty simple.  Everyone picks a colored cylinder and takes a tile with the colored dots on it.  You put the rope on the floor or table in a circle (I recommend the floor); place all of the colored marbles inside the big wooden cylinder; lift the cylinder so the marbles go everywhere; and then see who can fill their cylinder with the marbles the fastest.  The only trick is that you have to pick them up in the order they are on the tiles with the colored dots.

The age on the game says 4 and up but my 3 1/2 year old understands how it works.  We hadn't yet tried to play any board games with Hollis yet, so I was skeptical about whether or not he could remember and follow all of the directions.  Admittedly, his favorite part is packing the big cylinder and then letting the marbles go everywhere, but he can play this game!  (That's assuming that Holden doesn't interfere by picking up the marbles and stashing them all over the house.)

I admit that I wanted to review this game for the educational potential.  Hollis has struggled with his colors.  His pre-school teacher has noticed it and we've noticed it for quite some time.  For awhile we were wondering if there was some color blindness hiding in my side of the family!  This game has helped.  I have him tell me the color names as he picks up the marbles.  Granted, it makes it much slower and less of a game, but it works.  He's definitely shown improvement in his color recognition and his teacher agrees.  I'm sure we'll be playing this game for some time to come!

Rapido is also made from bamboo.  So how can you go wrong?  It's educational, fun, and made from sustainable materials.  You can pick it up at the Discovery Channel Store for $19.95.

Kinzin Photo Service

If you're anything like me 99% of your photos are on your computer or on an Internet website.

Before I got my first digital camera I always got 2 sets of every roll of film I had developed. 1 for us and 1 to give away. I also got my photos on CD so I could put them on our website or email them, but I faithfully put my paper photos in albums and my albums on my bookshelf.

Raise your hand if you still do that? Anyone?

Bueler? Bueler?

When H&H were born I was pretty good about ordering photos for my grandparents and sending them off for them to view. My parents and the in-laws were on their own. They know how to email and download as well as the rest of us. But then we'd visit the in-laws and we'd see the snapshots printed out on regular printer paper. Cute. But not exactly a lasting keepsake.

Enter Kinzin, a new photo web site that I had the chance to review for PBN.

Kinzin is a social media site, but with a lot more control. You can create a page for your kids, or each of them, share updates and photos with your family. Or, if you have relatives who like to have a nice photo to put in a frame, Kinzin can do that for you too. You can also share your photos on a more public site like Facebook and Kinzin is free.

Sure, you can do a lot of that stuff on many different sites. But what makes Kinzin unique is its photo mailing service. For $2.99 a month, Kinzin will send 10 photos to the address of your choice. For every 2 subscriptions you purchase, the third is free. That's really not much more than you pay for digital prints you do yourself at your local store and Kinzin eliminates the hassle of printing out the photos and then remembering to actually mail them instead of leaving them on the floor of your car for 5 months. (Oh, wait. You mean I'm the only one who does that?)

Yes, you can do this yourself. But how many of you actually do it? On a regular basis? C'mon, be honest now! OK, if you're organized to do that yourself, I hate you.

Kinzin gave me 3 free year long subscriptions to their photo mailing service. I selected my parents, the in-laws, and myself to get the photos. Every month Kinzin will take the last 10 photos uploaded to my site, print them out, and mail them to the people on my subscription list. How cool is that???

There are a few things I would change about the Kinzin site. For some reason, I can never find my way directly to the area for uploading prints for the photo mailing service. I kept uploading them to my kids' individual photo streams.

Don't get me wrong, the photo streams are nice. You can type in some notes or an update with every photo so the family can keep track of what your kids are doing daily. But I would like the photos uploaded to my kids' individual pages to automatically be in my outbox for the print mailings. That doesn't seem to be how it works now. I'd also like to be able to upload more than one photo at a time. I tend to upload photos in batches and not 1 or 2 a day.

There have also been a few kinks in getting the photos out, but I think that's just because Kinzin was trying to rush photos out for their reviewers. I have no reason to think there's any problem with their photo mailings on a regular basis.

My dad received the first batch of photos late last week. He said they look great and he and my mom are both laughing over the photo of Holden with the crayon up his nose. (See above.) I haven't gotten my photos yet, so I'll let you know what I think about the photo quality as soon as mine arrive.

Overall, I'm really liking Kinzin. For only $2.99 a month it takes away a lot of my hassle and makes the grandparents happy. It's worth it! Barring any problems over the next year, I'll definitely be paying for my subscriptions next year.

Were You Raised by Wolves?

Shortly after having Hollis I discovered The Three Martini Playdate by Christie Mellor. It was a breath of snarky fresh air after the What to Expect books and Dr. Sears. I was in baby advice overload and overwhelmed by a major shift in personal identity. Reading Ms. Mellor's book, tongue in cheek though it was, sort of made me remember that I am an individual with wants and needs that I can't neglect.

Even T loved the book and would annoyingly read parts to me out loud in bed. You know, the book that I had already read and laughed my way through? Yeah, a bit annoying.

But when PBN gave me the opportunity to review Ms. Mellor's latest book, Were You Raised by Wolves, I jumped at the chance to get my hands on some snarky hilarity.

After reading the book, I can tell you that my answer to the question "Were you raised by wolves" is, "Why yes, it seems that I was."

Ms. Mellor did not disappoint me. This book is advice for the new grown up. Or, the grown up who never really grew up but is still making mom and dad pay off the credit card and bringing home laundry every weekend. (C'mon, we all know at least one of those!)

Need to know how to stock a bar? Well, if you ever want me to visit you do! Ms. Mellor has it covered. How to have a real conversation that doesn't just consist of you blathering on about yourself until your listener passes out from boredom or begins to bleed from the ears? Got it covered. Boil an egg? Yup. Do laundry? Uh huh. Become fiscally responsible? It's there.

The section of the book that told me I'm a slovenly juvenile destined to die in a pile of filth, newspapers and empty pizza boxes, surrounded by cats, was the section titled "Make your bed!" Ms. Mellor is a big advocate of making your bed every. single. morning. See, I never do unless company is coming over. I don't see the point when I'm just going to get in it & toss off all the throw pillows all over again at night. My husband? Couldn't be bothered either.

Here's what Ms. Mellor says:

[T]here is an idea used in law enforcement called the "broken window" theory that holds that if there is a broken window on a building, and if it is not immediately fixed, then it sends a signal to the neighborhood that nobody really cares. Vermin move into the building, graffiti springs up overnight, and garbage is dumped on the doorstep. More windows are broken. So, along those lines, I am suggesting that if you leave your bed constantly unmade, it sends a signal (to you) that it's also okay to leave your stinky socks on the floor, your dirty sweatpants slung over the chair, and a moldy crust of pizza sitting on top of a stack of magazines. You may think you're the sort that would never dream of leaving food lying around, but these things creep up on you, just like that broken window. You leave the bed unmade for too long, and pretty soon you find yourself sitting in a pool of your own waste, eating out of a takeout container in front of reality show reruns.

Um, ouch. I never watch reality show reruns.

This book is the perfect graduation gift. In fact, having received 2 graduation announcements already, I know I'll be buying a few copies of this book. Maybe I'll even make my bed.

But I won't like it. (She says with an adolescent pout on her face.)

The Gay Uncle's Guide to Parenting

Before Hollis was born, I think I bought every pregnancy and baby book published in the free world. I could have started my own resource library. Most of them, frankly, sucked. Everyone has conflicting advice: Dr. Sears says you shouldn't let your child cry and wear them whenever possible; Dr. Ferber says you should let them cry it out (as did my mom!). This conflicting advice continued in the hospital with the nurses and lactation consultants. Once we were out of the hospital and discovered Hollis had some health problems, we got conflicting advice from doctors.

Only when Hollis was about 16 months old (and Holden was about 2 weeks) did I really learn to trust my gut. In the hospital, everyone let me do what I wanted because it was my second child. The assumption was that I knew what I was doing. I still needed some advice, but I tossed all of those parenting books because their preachy manner and unreasonable advice just pissed me off. (Seriously, who has time to feed a baby with a dropper, pump for 30 minutes, store the milk, and sleep before starting all over again? A bottle with breast milk in it for a day or so is not the end of the world!)

Even now, I could still use some advice on how to handle Hollis's nightmare 3 year old tantrums and how to get Holden to stop head butting everyone he meets. (Damn Finding Nemo! He thinks knocking heads and saying "noggin" is a sign of affection.) I refuse to go back to useless parenting guides, so I basically rely on the advice of my friends and family.

Enter the Gay Uncle's Guide to Parenting. The author, Brett Berk, was a pre-school teacher and director and is now a research consultant for "producers of kids' media, toys and consumer products." I'll forgive him for his transgressions in marketing crap to my kids because his book is so funny. Seriously, go read this guy's blog. The book is just as funny.

More than entertaining, the G.U.G. is chock full of actual concrete, real life examples regarding toilet training, discipline, food issues, sibling rivalry, etc.... And Brett (can I call you Brett, G.U.?) actually tackles the hard cases rather than simply making general statements about what we "should" do. This is practical advice for handling the preschool set and it's wonderful.

The book will be a bestseller, right up there with the Girlfriend's Guides. Or at least it should be in my opinion. And we all know that my opinion is the only one that counts, right? Right?

Anyway, I'm giving this book out as gifts to my friends with toddlers.

In a Lawyer Mama Review FIRST, I like this book so much I'm going to give away the extra copy the publisher sent me on my blog. I usually pass on my extra copies (if I get any) to a local friend for a second opinion, because I'm too lazy to mail out stuff. But I like this book so much, I'm going to give one away.

In the comments, tell me what burning toddler question you wish advice books actually answered and I'll draw a person at random to get the book. I'll leave the drawing open until next Friday, March 14th.

This review is brought to you by Mother Talk.