What Quality Time?

Warning, warning! Rampant, unchecked sarcasm ahead!

This morning I had to wait in line to use the ATM near my office. There was a guy there servicing it, he swore he'd be done in 30 seconds (he lied), and it was too damn hot to walk a block to the next ATM. I'm lazy. Anyway, an older couple (maybe mid-sixties, clearly tourists) was in line behind me. As I was fishing my debit card out of my purse, I dropped a boat load of my narcissistic Lawyer Mama magnets all over the sidewalk. As you know, they have an adorable picture of newborn Hollis on them. The apparently nice couple helped me pick up my crap and the female of the couple asked about Hollis.

While the technician in front of us took as long as humanly possible to refix the ATM face plate, the woman proceeded to tell me about her daughter and her three grandsons. She was perfectly nice and then for some apparent reason she kept rambling on and told me that her daughter was staying home with them instead of working and that her children would thank her one day.

Okey dokey then. You have a nice day too then.

In the past, I've faced criticism for being a working mom. I don't mean "working" in the sense of prostitution, but I do work outside of the home full time. Comments I've heard include:

One day you'll realize the time that you've wasted.

Your children will look back and wonder why you didn't love them enough to stay
home.

And my personal favorite:

Being a mom and staying home with your children is every woman's biological
destiny. Why would you deny God's plan for you?

So, in honor of the thoughtless grandmother I encountered this morning, and because I always take these comments very seriously, I've decided to share what our family does with all of the quality family time that we do have:

We sit around and watch TV.

We park the kids in front of the TV and do our own thing so that we can pretend we never had them.

(And yes, I'm fulfilling my destiny as a bad mother.)

This post is brought to you in conjunction with Parent Bloggers Network & EA’s Wii-Boogie, a family gaming experience. Shake it. Sing it. Create it. I'm sure this post wasn't quite what they had in mind, but I'm feeling bitchy today.

And please don't take this post seriously. I may be a snarky bitch, but I'm not a bad mother. I am 75% certain that both my kids will graduate from high school some day and still be speaking to me when they reach adulthood.